


Spiders Are Weird

by FanDreams01



Series: Friend Fics [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hypothermia, Irondad, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, medical inaccuracy probably, spider instincts, spiderson, thermoregulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25957297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanDreams01/pseuds/FanDreams01
Summary: “H-Hey Mr. St’rk, cou’d I ask a favor? If you’re n-not too busy, of course…”“I was kind of in an important business meeting, but—““Oh, th’t’s fine. I-I’ve got this h’ndled anyways, so it’s no pr’bl’m...”“Kid, you’d be doing me a favor getting me out of here. Tell me what’s going on before I trace the call and bust down the doors to wherever you are. You know I’ll do it.”“Oh, w-well, I’m kind of stuck in an ice cream freezer, but I’ve got it c’vered, so no w’rries.”OrPeter would rather die of hypothermia than be rude to Mr. Stark.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Friend Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661743
Comments: 15
Kudos: 460
Collections: The Best Irondad/Spiderson Fics, The Best Peter Parker Whump Fics





	1. Chapter 1

Peter should have known that it wasn’t a good idea to go on a field trip without Ned. 

He could have made up some excuse to why he couldn’t come, which wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary for him. He almost always ditched Decathlon practice, and it was practically expected of him at this point. But that’s why he absolutely  _ had  _ to go on this field trip.

He remembers MJ telling him about the field trip, and convincing him to go.

“Yeah, Mr. Harrison somehow convinced the principle that a trip to the museum would be good for us. I mean, walking around for hours to look at half-assed exhibits instead of studying and practicing, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself,” MJ rolls her eyes sarcastically. “It will be fun to sneak away from Mr. Harrison and watch his heart attack, though... I would ask you to come with us, but I know you’re ‘busy’,” MJ air quoted. “So, I’m just letting you know why we won’t be there during practice this afternoon.”

“W-What? When am I ever too busy for practice?” MJ inhales deeply as if to list off all of the occasions Peter has ditched. “Don’t answer that question…”

Peter had sworn to MJ that he would come on this trip, even though he was planning on patrolling that afternoon. Crime in Queens could wait one day, right? 

The second sign that should have stopped him from going was Flash. 

His appetite for bullying had gone up considerably in the past week. Peter didn’t know why Flash was specifically picking on him more often, but he knew Flash spares other students when he can mess with Peter. Peter would get beaten up a thousand times if it meant that no one else had to go through it. Plus, he had super healing, so it wasn’t horrible, right? 

No Ned, and a riled up Flash? Peter knew it was a recipe for disaster, yet he was still on the bus headed to the field trip. He had to show MJ that he wouldn’t quit on the team this time.

It was a long and awkward bus drive as Peter listened to music and watched the buildings pass by. MJ was secretly drawing him for her collection of crisis drawings, but Peter didn’t notice this time. 

Maybe things would have been okay if they hadn’t taken a detour.

It was a boiling hot day, and Mr. Harrison had decided that they would stop at a small ice cream shop to cool down. His main motive for doing so was probably to be “cool” for his students, but he wouldn’t admit that.

As the cashier was flooded with the teenagers’ orders, Peter headed to the corner of the shop to wait. 

He had never really liked ice cream, a fact that had surprised most people, and the spider bite only made it worse for him. His enhanced senses made eating ice cream almost unpleasant, with a brain freeze always right around the corner no matter how careful he was. On top of that, the spider bite made it so that Peter couldn’t thermoregulate. 

To put it simply, when the ice cream cooled down his body, he couldn’t warm back up on his own. It was never a huge deal, but he doesn’t bother with ice cream anymore.

So, Peter decided to wait in the corner of the shop to avoid inevitably being asked what he wanted, or being forced to wait awkwardly as everyone else ordered. 

Most of the students had left the store to get back on the bus, so he probably should have left. He should have seen the signs. But he had just seen that he had received a text from Mr. Stark.

**_Message received from “Tony freaking Stark!!”:_ **

**_Hey, kid. Happy told me that you cancelled on coming over to work on the suit today, just wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow after school instead?_ **

Peter could tell Mr. Stark was trying to seem as casual as possible for being stood up. Peter had never missed one of their days to work in the lab, he was probably over there more than he should be, so he was probably confused.

He was about to send out a quick text back before he felt a tiny tingle on the back of his neck, his spidey sense indicating something minor was happening, before hearing a small bang.

“Aw come on, man. Felix, can you help me out? The milkshake machine is acting up,” one of the workers requested. 

“Ah, but my shift’s over… Fine, but after this I’m leaving.” 

Peter shook his head, looking back down to his response.

**_Sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t mean to cancel on you, but the Decathlon team is going on a field trip today that I probably should have known about… Sorry if I ruined any plans._ **

Peter groaned and started to rewrite the response, but before he could send it his spidey sense went off again: it was more intense this time, but not painful like it could be when there was something big coming. He looked up and met eyes with Flash.

_ Shit. _

Peter had debated whether he could fight back against Flash’s bullying now that he was strong, but always ended up with the same thought: Peter before the bite couldn’t fight back, so it would be suspicious if he started fighting back after the bite. Plus, he wasn’t great at controlling his strength. He was just “Penis Parker”, so accidentally flinging Flash across a hallway wouldn’t look too good.

So he let Flash pick him up by the collar of his shirt, despite how his spidey sense yelled at him to defend himself. 

Before Peter could even register what was happening, he was being thrown into a room with the door being locked. 

Peter first tried opening the door, subconsciously knowing that it was locked already, but couldn’t open it.  _ Shocker.  _

He could probably force his way out with his super strength, but how would it look for “weak Penis Parker” to bust through a locked door? Even if Flash left, the employees would be very confused. Peter groaned, before taking stock of his surroundings.

He was in an ice cream freezer, where he assumed they kept the hard ice cream to replace the tubs being scooped in the counter. That meant the employees probably wouldn’t be coming in there any time soon.

_ Just my Parker luck. _ Peter groaned internally.

Peter went to retrieve his phone that had skidded across the floor, noticing another crack being added to the many already on his phone’s screen.  _ No reception? I thought that making calls in freezers was a top priority! _

Peter groaned as he noticed the chill settling into his bones, remembering his lack of thermoregulation.

_ Screw spiders. Why couldn’t I have been bitten by a radioactive polar bear or something? At least then I’d be warm. _ Peter idly thought.

He held his breath as he barely heard something outside. 

_ Okay, maybe super hearing is kind of useful… _

“Hey, where’d Peter go?” Peter heard MJ ask. Her voice sounded careless, but Peter could pick up a hint of concern.

“Oh, Peter ran off saying something about plans. You know how he is.” Peter could practically hear the smug grin in Flash’s voice.

“You sure? Because he promised me that he was free today, no disappearing.” 

“I don’t know, he just rushed out.” 

Peter’s heart dropped at MJ’s sigh.  _ Nonono, I didn’t lie to you, MJ. I tried to be there, I swear. _

Peter heard them leave the shop, the cold making his fingers and ears start to sting. He searched through his backpack for anything useful , only for it to be filled with useless binders and textbooks. He kept digging in his backpack, looking for anything to help him deal with the cold before he could get help, and shrugged as he pulled out his gym uniform. He was going to bring it home to be washed, but decided that wrapping them around his hands wouldn’t make anything worse.

He clenched his hands, damning his inability to thermoregulate.

It was when his spidey sense started to flare up that he decided to start banging on the door. He didn’t care about being embarrassed anymore, he just wanted to get out of the freezer, dammit!

After about a minute of banging on the door and shouting, he gave up. 

He could make out music, and assumed that the employee was listening to it with headphones.  _ Come on lady, just take off your headphones for a second!  _

Peter groans as he hears her attempt to sing along to the lyrics, clearly lost in her own world.

_ Peter Benjamin Parker, death by music and an ice cream freezer. What a stupid way to go.  _ He thought.

Peter’s teeth started to chatter after a little while, and he started jumping around and waving his arms in an attempt to warm up. He could feel what warmth was left in his body start to be sapped away, along with his energy.

He started to heavily shiver a little while later, and he slid down to sit against the wall. He was exhausted, though he couldn’t tell if it was from all of the jumping around or from the cold. He scrunched into a ball, shivering and rubbing his arms. 

The cold had invaded his whole body, and his temperature was decreasing rapidly despite his attempts to stop it. He could still faintly hear the girl‘s “singing”.

“ _ I won’t let you dooown, no I won’t let you down! I won’t let you down, my love! Dun dun pah pah!”  _ The girl shouted horribly off tune.

Peter scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.  _ Why’s she shouting about love? _

He shook his head, remembering that she was listening to music. Why did he forget that?

Wait, why was he in an ice cream freezer? How did he get stuck in here in the first place?

_ Flash shoved me in here, remember? He locked the door and now I can’t get out.  _ He tried to remind himself.

He stood up, wobbling on his feet before trying with all of his might to open the door. But he genuinely couldn’t open it now, even if he wanted to force it open.

He slumped back onto the floor in exhaustion. He was really shaking now, and his spidey sense that was screaming at him maybe 15 minutes earlier had died down to a whisper.

He turned on his phone, his shaky fingers barely able to type in the password. 

_ Hey, why didn’t I call someone to come and help me? There’s one bar, why didn’t I make a call? Wait, there wasn’t any reception before, was there?  _

Peter was starting to get genuinely confused. But he knew that he should probably call someone to come and help him if he wanted to get out. He saw his conversation with Mr. Stark was still open, so he decided to call him.

The call rang a total of two times before he picked up.

“What’s going on, kid? I thought you were on a field trip that’s far more important than me, or something.”

Peter smiled sadly at his response.

“H-Hey Mr. St’rk, cou’d I ask a favor? If you’re n-not too busy, of course…”

Peter couldn’t remember much, but he would always remember to be polite to Mr. Stark. Under any circumstances.

“I was kind of in an important business meeting, but—“

“Oh, th’t’s fine. I-I’ve got this h’ndled anyways, so it’s no pr’bl’m...”

“Kid, you’d be doing me a favor getting me out of here. Tell me what’s going on before I trace the call and bust down the doors to wherever you are. You know I’ll do it.”

“Oh, w-well, I’m kind of stuck in an ice cream freezer, but I’ve got it c’vered, so no w’rries.”

“Yeah right, kid. FRIDAY, trace the call. Peter, what’s going on with you? You sound drunk.” Tony’s voice was laced with concern.

“Mmm… You c’ming now?”

“Um, yeah kid… I’m coming. But what’s happening?You got stuck in an ice cream freezer, does that mean you’re freezing or something right now?”

The sounds of Tony’s voice and what he assumed was his suit faded into the back of Peter’s mind. 

_ Mr. Stark… coming. Everything good now. _

Peter’s brain was suddenly filled with a strong  _ urge.  _ He didn’t know why, but he was compelled to make some sort of nest. His body urged him that he would be safe if he could only… nest? He was too tired and confused to question whether this was normal. 

He started shakily burying himself under his gym uniform and school supplies in the corner of the room.

_ This is probably a spider thing… spiders are weird…  _

“Kid? Answer me!” Mr. Stark sounded extremely anxious now.

“Nng… Spiders… weird, Mr. St’rk. W’nt… polar bear…”

“A polar bear, kid?” 

Peter’s eyes drifted shut, his brain relaxing completely with the fact that Mr. Stark was coming. He slowly fell into a peaceful sleep in his newly built nest.

“Kid? Kid! Answer me, that’s an order, dammit!”

Tony’s voice faded as Peter snuggled into his spider nest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments on the first chapter, You.Me.Shiratorizawa - my friend who wrote this story (she doesn't have an accoutn so I post her stories for her in the series this work is part of) - is overwhelmed with the comments she's gotten. ~ ImaWriterandaFangirl

“Kid? Did you really fall asleep?! FRIDAY, where is he?” Tony was in his suit, flying as fast as possible to Queens.

He was already worried when Peter didn’t respond to his text, because Peter always responded right away. He didn’t realize how important Peter was to him before he started worrying that the worst had happened.

The lab felt almost empty without Peter around that afternoon. So when he got the call from Peter, he answered immediately. The answer he got sent him running to get his suit, and flying out at max power to Queens.

_ This kid isn’t getting rid of me that easy. _ He thought determinedly.

Tony was alarmed when FRIDAY informed him that Peter had been in an ice cream shop for a little over an hour. How and why did the kid always attract trouble?

When he landed near said ice cream shop, he stepped out of his suit and hurried inside. The employee stares up at him with wide eyes, a pair of headphones dropped around her neck. 

“I’m gonna have to cut your shift short. Thank me later.” He gestures towards the door, and she quickly scurries out.

He rushes over to unlock the door that he assumes leads to the freezer, his eyes frantically scanning the room for his kid before seeing him curled up in the corner. Peter was shirtless, curled up underneath his shirt, backpack, binders and gym uniform. 

_ Uh… save the kid first, ask questions later. _

Tony brushed away the binders, textbooks and clothes that were strewn across Peter to find him curled up and dangerously pale with blue-ish lips.

His brain had rushed to the conclusion that  _ shit the kid can’t be dead, he can’t be…  _

Tony immediately relaxed when he pressed a finger to his neck and felt a heartbeat. It was small, and inconsistent, but it was there.

_ We’re not out of the woods yet, Stark.  _ He reminded himself before getting back to work.

Tony lifted Peter into his arms as carefully as he could, gasping at the absolute icicle his spider-kid had turned into. As he started to walk out of the freezer, Peter’s eyes cracked open.

“Hey, no more passing out on me, you got that kid?” Tony walked out into the lobby of the shop. 

“M’ster St’rk? ‘M cold…” 

“I bet, kid. But we’re just gonna take a quick ride to the med bay and then you’ll be warm. How does that sound?” Tony steps into the suit.

“Mmmh…” 

“Hey, FRIDAY, what’s his temp? And can you alert the med bay and… warm up the outside of the suit, but not super hot.” Tony tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

“Mr. Parker is currently 83 degrees Fahrenheit, indicating moderate hypothermia. Helen Cho has been alerted to the situation and is preparing to take Mr. Parker. Warming the outside of the suit now.” 

Peter sighed and leaned into the now warm suit. Craving more, the kid slowly wrapped his legs around the suit’s torso and clung onto its neck. Tony chucked as Peter hummed in satisfaction. 

_ Peter’s gonna be fine.  _

Tony was relieved as he gained control of the situation, flying back to the tower with a clingy Peter hugging his suit. As he landed on tower, he saw the med team ready to take Peter.

The woman who tried to take Peter was surprised when it took more effort than normal, because of Peter sticking to Tony’s suit. Tony couldn’t help but find clingy Peter adorable, but snapped out of that thought when he saw how pale Peter still was.

Before Tony could blink an eye, Peter was whisked away from him, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion and his hands outstretched to search for Tony’s suit.

Tony stepped out of his suit, shaky on his feet, only for Pepper to rush out and steady him. 

“The kid got stuck in a damn freezer, and I can assure you he didn’t just waltz in there on his own... It had to have been that bully Peter sometimes talks about! The kid wouldn’t just walk into a freezer! I swear I’ll find him, and—“

“Shh, it’s okay Tony. Peter’s in good hands, he’s going to be just fine. Let’s wait to ask him what really happened before you go all Hulk on me, okay?” 

~~~

“Sir, Mr. Parker has woken up and is requesting for you to join him.” FRIDAY interrupts Tony’s project. He wasn’t quite sure what he was working on, had started a project on autopilot to distract himself from his thoughts. It happened to be a heater for the kid’s suit.

“Tell him I’ll be right there.” 

Tony rushed down to the med bay, one thought on his mind:  _ if it was that kid, Flash, that did this to Peter, he’s going to wish he was never born.  _

Tony wasn’t quite sure where this sudden overprotectiveness of Peter had come from, but he feels like it had always been there. Ever since the kid had walked into his life with the biggest, goofiest grin and the brightest mind, he had worked his way into Tony’s heart. He wasn’t supposed to let that happen. He was supposed to stay distant from the kid, not supposed to get attached, but Peter made that practically impossible. 

_ Damn that kid for making me like this. _ He cursed in his head with no actual bite.

Tony stormed into the med bay, Helen Cho waiting to update him on what happened.

“Good evening, Mr. Stark.” Helen continued to update him on Peter’s situation, most of the words floating over his head as he waited for the ones that mattered. “Moderate hypothermia.” “Warm IV fluids.” “Thermoregulation.”

That one stung. How could the kid forget to mention the fact that he can’t thermoregulate? 

“But I’m confident that he will be back to normal in no time, he—“

“Can I ask you something?” Helen nodded, slightly annoyed at being cut off. “When I first saw Peter, he had stripped off his shirt and had buried himself in his clothes and school supplies… is that… normal?” The sight had been disturbing Tony ever since he saw it.

“Well, it is relatively common for someone with hypothermia to get into a more protected position before dying or losing consciousness, so it’s possible that was what Mr. Parker was doing. As for taking off his shirt, someone experiencing severe hypothermia can feel a ‘hot flash’ before death, causing them to want to take off their clothes, but I don’t believe he had reached that stage yet. It is plausible that Mr. Parker was removing clothes to build himself a ‘nest’ of sorts, as some spiders do in the winter when they hibernate, but I can’t be sure.”

Tony nodded, remembering Peter mumbling something about spiders being weird. He couldn’t help but agree.

“Where is he?” Helen gestured to a door behind her, before walking off. Tony walked briskly to open the door, his eyes falling on May holding Peter’s hand.

“Oh, hey Mr. Stark! Sorry about interrupting one of your meetings…” Peter was on an IV, surrounded by multiple blankets. 

Tony scoffed. “Kid, don’t apologize for getting help. Especially when I know that this wasn’t your fault. Who locked you in there? Was it that kid… Flush? Flash?” Peter’s eyes widened.

“No, of course not. I was just trying to find the bathroom, and then the door locked on me… Parker luck, right?” He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

It would have been all too easy to accept his lie, and move on with his life without adding another thing to be stressed over. But Peter made it so hard for Tony  _ not  _ to be overprotective.

“Yeah, and you missed the door right next to it that was labeled ‘bathroom’? I’m not buying it, kid. Just say that it was this ‘Flash’ character, and I’ll get him expelled, you know I will.” Peter sighed.

“He only picks on me because things are… rough for him at home. He kinda has to get his aggression out one way or another. Expelling him will only send him to another school, where he’ll pick on some other poor kids who don’t have super healing, you know? I can take it for all of them, I can handle it.” Peter set his firm gaze on Tony, May shaking her head at Peter with watery eyes.

_ Of course this kid would find a way to take all of the pain for everyone else.  _ Tony was beginning to get exasperated at how selfless the kid was. “Okay… you don’t want him expelled… so why don’t you just put him in his place? A good ole one-two from the spider-kid would teach him his lesson.”

“Well… I can’t.”

“And why the hell not? I guess you don’t have to hurt him if you don’t want to, softie, but you can at least keep him off of you.”

“That’s the thing… I can’t really control my strength sometimes? Like, I accidentally broke Ned’s nose when he startled me… So yeah… super strength. Great for fighting criminals, not so great for high school bullies that can’t be thrown across hallways.”

Tony smiled. “That’s one problem we  _ can  _ fix.” 

Tony usually didn’t involve himself with other people’s problems, but that was before his kid’s life was endangered by a bully. Peter would never be bothered by Flash again, and he would humiliate him in front of the whole school. He would do this not as Spider-Man, but as Peter Parker, and Tony would make absolutely sure of it. 

Peter grinned up at him, probably excited at the thought of training with him. It had been a while since someone had looked up at Tony with such sincere excitement and  _ adoration. _

At the moment, he couldn’t think of anything he wouldn’t do to keep this kid safe. Peter had somehow worked his way into Tony’s life where he thought he didn’t have room for anything else.

Tony couldn’t imagine his life without his overly eager mentee in it, to fascinate him and to scare him out of his mind. Peter had won Tony’s attention and affection.

Tony would be willing to burn the world down for the kid, if he didn’t think Peter would be mad at him for it.

He didn’t know if that scared him or not.


End file.
